“You know, Zach, I think I might keep you around for a while longer, even though you damn near got me killed in Germany. The Major said to overlook you being a sergeant,” Carl told Zach during dinner at the Larimore residence one evening.
Zach laughed and passed Carl a cigar. “Well, I appreciate it, Carl, although I still can’t decide who was worse, you or the Germans. But I’m willing to forgive you being an officer; and a damn unlucky one at that.”
Carl and Zach were each reminded by Ellen and Adele to be mindful of their language in front of the children. Ellen smiled at Adele.
“What else do you expect from two old war horses?” Ellen asked.
Ellen looked over to see Sarah offer David another spoonful of strained squash. He soon began crying. Ellen started to get up from her chair. But Sarah lifted David from his highchair and walked out of the dining room.
“I’ll take care of him, Mother; I know what to do. You finish eating.”
Sarah walked through the living room and took David upstairs to his room.
*******************************
One day Sarah was helping Ellen bake bread and make cookies when the phone rang. Sarah left the kitchen and answered the phone in the living room.
“Larimore residence.”
“Mrs. Larimore, please.”
“Mrs. Larimore isn’t feeling well. This is Sarah, you can talk to me.”
“This is the School’s Counselor; I need Mrs. Larimore to come and see me after school today.”
“Oh, Anita, huh? Didn’t you hear me? I will speak with you when I pick David up.” Then she hung up.
“Who’s on the phone, Sarah?” Ellen called out from the kitchen.
“Don’t worry about it, Mother dear, I’ve taken care of it,” Sarah said. Then she looked out the front window.
“That old Kröte!” Sarah mumbled to herself.
David was in Mrs. Lowery’s office. She was sitting at her desk, and would occasionally give him a dirty look. To David, she seemed a little nervous. But, as he well knew, she had had to deal with Sarah before when he was in trouble. Suddenly the door to her office flew open, and Sarah marched into the room. Mrs. Lowery sat straight up when she saw Sarah. Sitting down in a chair next to David, she touched him on the shoulder.
“Well, er…Hi, Sarah. I was hoping that Mrs. Larimore would be able to…”
Sarah cut her off. “She couldn’t make it.”
“Is she doing well?”
“That’s a family matter and none of your concern. Now, what’s all the fuss about?”
Mrs. Lowery held out a yellow disciplinary notice. Sarah turned and looked at David.
“Another disciplinary notice?”
David looked away. “I’m sorry, Sarah.”
Sarah turned around and ripped the notice from Mrs. Lowery’s hand. She read it over, looking for David’s current offense. When she saw it, she looked up at Mrs. Lowery and laughed.
“Fighting at school!” she read aloud. Then she looked at David and smiled.
“You better have won!”
Mrs. Lowery stood up. “Really Sarah, I think you…”
Before she could finish, Sarah interrupted. “Now, don’t you worry! David and I will talk about this. It’s a family matter now.”
Then she smiled at David. “Come along, we made cookies.”
***************************
“But you can’t tell everyone the truth. In fact, you don’t have to tell most people the truth. You tell the truth to those you owe it to,” David said.
“Who would that be?” Lani asked.
“Well, those who tell you the truth.”
“Like your parents?”
“No, they’ve lied to me,” David said.
Lani looked at him. “Ah, but only for your own good…” Her voice trailed off. “I see.”
“But everybody lies,” she said.
“Yes, but not necessarily to everybody.”
“So you owe the truth to those who don’t lie to you?”
“Exactly. But it also depends on what the person would do with the truth.”
“Like what?”
“Well, to use it to their own advantage for example.”
“Oh, I get it. They don’t deserve the truth.”
“No.” Then he pointed at her and laughed. “So don’t tell ’em!”
Lani smiled at him. “Ok, I won’t.” Then she paused. “Anyone else, genius?”
“What about Marian?” David asked.
“I hate Marian!”
“I know. Do you lie to her?”
Lani smiled again. “Every chance I get.”
David laughed. “Why?”
Lani thought for a moment. “She’s a bitch! And a tramp!”
“Any other reason?”
“Yeah, well, she uses everything against me.”
“So you don’t owe Marian the truth.”
“No. Oh, I get it. You don’t owe someone the truth if they would it use it against you.”
“No; lie your ass off to ’em!”
There was a brief pause, then David turned the radio down. Lani finished her beer and tossed the empty can onto the floor in the backseat.
“Well, I’m sure that even Sarah lies,” she said.
“I’m sure she does; just never to me.”
Lani looked at him with a confused look on her face.
“She’s never lied to you?”
“No.”
“And she’s never used the truth against you? Not even once?”
“Never.”
Lani shrugged her shoulders. “Well, I guess you owe her the truth.”
David took the next left turn. Then he smiled at Lani. “I owe her a lot more than that.”
“Did she say anything?”
Heidi looked away for a moment. “I only met her twice. But the last time I saw her, she showed me these photos. And I particularly noticed that one. That’s why I remembered it. I asked who was sitting by her, and she said her little brother. Then she me told me all about him, I mean…you. Then I asked her when she saw you last.”
“What did she say?”
“Well, she said not for years. So I asked why.”
“Well?”
“Some things are hard to relate. But she said that she would contact you when she thought you had forgiven her.”
He was stunned. So he sat there and stared at Heidi for a few moments.
“Me forgive her?” he asked, the strain in his voice clearly audible.
“That’s what she said. Then she said that she had failed. Do you know what she meant?”
David nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“Did she?”
“Fail? No, quite the opposite. She made a sacrifice very few could ever make.”
“Well, I guess it’s too bad you couldn’t tell her that.”
David smiled. “Oh, there’ll be plenty of time.”
Heidi set down her cup of coffee and looked at him. “What do you mean?”
“I’ll tell her when I see her again.”
“I still don’t get it.”
“I’ll tell her when I catch up.”
************************
It was cold; very cold. It was raining too; not a hard rain, but more like a constant drizzle. David left suddenly, and didn’t really think about what the weather might be like. Pittsburgh was getting cold by then, and he didn’t really dress for it. So he stood by the graveside as the priest gave the funeral oration, water dripping off his hair. A tall man in a black suit was standing next to the priest holding an umbrella over him. There were only a few people there. David was standing next to Heidi and Matthew Young. He felt a little out of place. When the priest finished, David crouched down by the edge of the grave. He pulled the snapshot out of his pocket. It was one of the photos Heidi gave him. He hadn’t seen it before she showed it to him. It was a picture of David and Sarah sitting on deck chairs on their parents’ back patio. Courtney and Donna were sleeping in a large playpen sitting between them. He turned it over. Sarah had written his name and phone number on the back. He looked at it one last time and smiled. Then he opened his hand and watched the picture float down into the grave.
“Bye, Sarah,” he whispered. “It might be a while.”
**************************
David knew that Ellen was right. It may take a long time, it might take years, but he would have to wait for Sarah to contact him. Maybe when Courtney wasn’t in the entertainment news so often. Maybe Sarah knew Donna was in college. He wouldn’t know until she called or showed up at the house. Until then, he would have to respect her wishes and wait. After all, there was nothing wrong with waiting. Then one evening he was lying awake in bed. He couldn’t fall asleep. He decided that he would lie there and listen. So that’s what he did; hour after hour. Finally, he heard it. He had to smile. For the first time in his life he saw the truth of it. Some people are never gone. She was right; and that was good enough.
**********************************
He couldn’t help but think of Sarah. If Courtney had given him Kerry, Sarah had given him Courtney. In a strange way, she allowed Courtney to choose him. He thought of her well-meant lectures, her generous sharing of her insights on life. She had been wrong at times, but she had also been right. He thought about how safe he felt seeing her waiting for him outside the school; waiting to bring him home. In a strange way, she had also chosen him. It’s funny that this never occurred to him before now. No matter, he would get another chance to tell her soon.
Sarah Larimore
Sarah is the oldest child of Carl and Ellen Larimore, and sister of David. She is born in Green Ridge Valley and moves south to Westbridge with the family while her father is serving in Europe during the war. Sarah is a bit of a tomboy as a young girl and likes to play basketball and baseball. She also likes professional wrestling, being an ardent fan of Dick the Bruiser. Sarah amasses a huge collection of baseball cards, many of which will prove very valuable decades later. She owns several autographed pictures of Babe Ruth, and Grandpa Grayson gave her an autographed Babe Ruth home run baseball that he purchased from a local farmer. Sarah is bold and brash, has a penchant for getting into trouble, and often finds herself in School Counselor Anita Lowery's office, usually as a result of fighting with her nemesis, Beryl Ricks. Sarah's run-ins with Mrs. Lowery culminate in a bizarre incident stemming from the nick-name Sarah gave her...Kröte, the German word for "toad" that she learns from her Great-Grandma Winifred.
Sarah's conflict with Beryl stems from the fact that Beryl's boyfriend, a young baseball slugger named Walker Blaine, breaks up with her when he finds that he likes Sarah better. Sarah plays on Walker's team proving to be a good batter herself. When Walker goes on to play in the "Farm Leagues," he has to leave Sarah behind. She remains bitter about this, and soon has no interest in men. When Walker returns to Westbridge, Sarah initially refuses to resume her relationship with him. Timely intervention by Ellen changes her mind. They are married and soon Courtney Blaine is born. Walker dies suddenly of a heart condition that plagues the men of the Blaine family. Sarah remarries and becomes Mrs. Milton Butler. Her new husband has lied about his financial situation, is violent at home, and pursues extra-marital affairs. Still, this marriage produces Sarah's only other child...Donna Butler. Sarah divorces Milton to marry Harold Schaefer, an unemployed, alcoholic construction worker who has a habit of losing his temper with Courtney.
Sarah has a strong interest in her eleven year younger brother David, and from early on helps her mother look after him. After Ellen has a stroke, Sarah assumes an even more prominent role in the life of her younger brother, creating a special bond that lasts throughout their lives. Sarah's tenderness with David is not reflected in her relationship with Courtney and Donna, with a considerable amount of animosity developing between Sarah and her two daughters, who later find themselves drawn to their uncle. Sarah makes the very hard decision to allow Courtney and Donna to move in with David, even when she discovers that Courtney's friend Kerry, the subject of Sarah's "No Kerry Rule," is staying at David's house.
As David's understanding of life slowly deepens, Sarah makes an important contribution. Reminding him one day that she will not always be there, something David doesn't want to contemplate, she tells him something that remains with him for the rest of his life. A very painful separation between David and Sarah results from Harold's decision to return to Pittsburgh. This will be the last time David, Courtney, and Donna ever see Sarah. After moving east, she never contacts him, and he assumes that she is angry with him about Courtney and Donna. Much later, learning of Sarah's death from Harold's sister Heidi, David is told that Sarah hadn't contacted him because she felt that she had failed him. When David is old, he suddenly realizes that Sarah was the first, and most important, source of his own, personal Epiphany.
******************************************
Walker loved baseball. He played catcher, and could knock the ball well onto the other side of the fences if he got the right pitch.
“We’re short; wanna play?” he asked.
“No,” she said, looking back at her cards.
“Why not?”
“My aunt says that girls don’t play in baseball games.”
Walker knew about Aunt Margaret, and from what Sarah told him, he didn’t care much for her. Sometimes at recess or after school he would pitch the ball to Sarah and let her hit. He knew that with the right pitch, Sarah had a mean swing. It never occurred to him before to ask her into a game. This time was he short a player.
Walker smiled at her. “Your aunt’s batty. It’d be swell if you played.”
“Hey guys! Walker needs his girlfriend to help now that he’s gettin’ licked!”
It was Willie Overton, who played shortstop for the other team. Walker and Willie didn’t get along, and the two were in trouble numerous times for having a go at each during lunch hour. Sarah put her cards in her back pocket and climbed down the bleachers. As she reached the ground, Willie’s friend tried to bunt, but Walker threw him out. That ended the inning.
Walker told the others on his team that Sarah would bat third. The first two batters each got to base. Then Sarah stepped up to the plate. Willie stood at the shortstop position and began making fun of her. Walker stepped out of the dugout and began heading toward Willie. Sarah looked at him.
“Not now, beat him up later. I want to hit.”
“Hey Willie, I’ll be sure to see you later!” Walker called out.
Sarah swung at the first pitch. It was low and outside, so she chided herself for swinging at it.
“Hey guys; Sarah swings like a girl!” Willie hollered.
Sarah swung at the second pitch. It was high and outside. Strike two.
“Walker has a new MVP!” Willie said, looking around at the rest of his team.
Walker called out to her. “Sarah! Relax, wait for the pitch you want.”
The third pitch was right down the middle of the plate. Sarah swung; the ball hitting the sweet spot. There was a loud crack, and then the line drive hurtled toward the infield. Willie wasn’t paying attention, and before he knew it, Sarah’s line drive bounced off his left shoulder. Willie went down, and the ball flew off into the outfield. Willie lay on the ground for a while, eventually leaving the game with an injured shoulder. By the time the center fielder threw the ball to home plate, two runs were scored.
“Take that you asshole!” Sarah yelled at him, making an obscene gesture as she stood at second base.
******************
Sarah looked at David with a sad look on her face. “They hate me don’t they?”
“I don’t know, they’ve never told me. Maybe they don’t.”
“I may have made mistakes.” This was a confession David had rarely heard from his older sister.
“Well, we aren’t defined by our mistakes; we’re defined by our decisions. That’s why making the right ones is so important.”
“I really do love them, David.”
He smiled at her. “I know you do. And that’s why it shouldn’t be hard to make the right decision.”
“You will talk to them?”
“I will.”
“I’ll stop in and see them before we leave, if that’s ok,” she said with a ring of hope in her voice.
“It’s not up to me. I’ll ask them, and let you know what they decide.”
Sarah put her hand on David’s shoulder. “I will miss you, David.”
“And I will miss you, Sarah.”
David wiped tears from his eyes as she got up. She started toward the corner of the house. She was crying, and didn’t want him to see her. Then she stopped and turned around. David looked back over his shoulder and froze. She was standing there, her hands trembling. A few moments later she reached out her hand as if she were about to take his. For a moment it seemed…
The sun was out and it was a warm day. He had history for last hour that semester. Suddenly the bell rang and, picking up his books, he headed down the hall to the side exit. There were kids everywhere, yelling and screaming as they poured out of the exit doors. He walked a few steps and then stopped. He looked around until he saw her. She was standing at the end of the sidewalk, and she waved to him. He ran up to her and smiled. She smiled back.
“How was school today?” she asked.
“Fine,” he said.
“What about your test?”
He smiled as he pulled a piece of paper out of one of his books. She took it from him and looked it over.
“A B-minus! That’s excellent,” she said.
They turned to head toward the playing fields. They walked slowly, not being in much of a hurry.
“How’s Mom today?” he asked.
She looked at him and smiled. “She’s fine! She’s been cooking and baking all day.”
They walked a little further and headed toward the science building. Then he reached up and took her hand as they…
She slowly lowered her hand, wiped the tears from her eyes and smiled. Then she turned around and headed through the gate. David sat there staring at the corner of the house for almost ten minutes. Then he wiped his eyes with his sleeve and walked into the house. He went down the hall to his room. It wasn’t until two days later that the girls saw him again.
************************************
“But Sarah, this is your ring.”
Sarah smiled. “Actually it’s Mother’s.”
“Yes, but she gave it to you.”
“And I’m giving it to Lani. Besides, I have other rings from Mother.”
“But Mom might...” Sarah cut him off.
“I’ve spoken with Mother, and she thinks it’s a good idea.”
David smiled. “It’s a nice ring.”
“Yeah, well if she’s going to marry my brother she should have a nice ring. You’ll give it to her for me?”
“I will. She’ll love it. You’ll be at the wedding?” he asked hopefully.
Sarah jumped up, put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
“David Larimore! What a thing to ask your sister!” she scolded.
“But you said…”
“It doesn’t matter I said.”
“But you think…”
“It doesn’t matter what I think.”
David paused. “It does to me.”
“Well then, I should tell you that I’m not always right.”
David smiled. “True; but you usually are.”
Sarah laughed. “Well, this time I was wrong.”
David shook his head in amazement. “Wow!” he said laughing.
Then she pointed at him. “This time. Don’t let it go to your head!”
“I won’t. But I’m glad you’ll be there.”
“I’ve always been there.”
“True.”
“But I might not always be there,” she added.
David paused and looked at her. “I prefer not to think about that.”
Suddenly, she got a serious look on her face.
“But there’s more than one way to be there,” she added.
